Black Woo M(aya) A(udre) N(atzake)
2017
Let me start with an apology
I’ve gone from black girl magic
To grown woman glow
And almost forgot you
Aren’t my shadow.
You are my companion
My journey
My inspiration.
Black girl, I’m sorry I told you
Not to own your own beauty
To dress in ways that
Make you feel less of a yes
Because we failed to teach boys
That no is a complete sentence
A conviction of wealth
Beyond the collection of skin and curves
They see.
I’m sorry I forget to teach you
That self-defense is more than necessary
It’s sacred.
It’s phenomenal.
And, you, Black girl, are both.
Black girl, I’m sorry I never told you
Being bold may cost you
The rainbow,
The labels of womanhood
Just to be heard
Through filters
Like angry
Or victim
Or bitch.
This conundrum violates
Unavoidable adjuncts or pleasant past times
Somehow justi-lies
Choosing between prosperity
And a Ph.D
In a society that values
Our absence;
Violence
Of any kind
Isn’t supposed to validate
Isn’t supposed to educate,
Isn’t supposed to drive us insane.
And still I rise
Because poetry is not a luxury
For colored girls like me
Separated and educated
High yella and articulated
Second guessed and underestimated
Representing the dichotomy
Of living like black folks
In spaces where afterthought was
As much of an address as
My presence
See tokenism ain’t easy
Codeswitching is a means
To leadership
A narrow pass
Up and through the Caucus Mountains
Shackled
Manipulating words
Until uniformity lost it’s mission
To a more inclusive history.
See black people speak
Again and again
From boarding school
To college degree
To the 1% who served
Pioneering is my prerequisite
Put my herstory in your medicine pouch
Nurse your wounds with my tears
And don’t apologize.
You ain’t sorry.
Black Girl.
Black Girl.
Black Girl.
____________________________________________
Lavinia is working on her 2nd book and a spoken word CD.