For the majority of my life, things seemed to come fairly easy for me. Not to say that I got EVERYTHING I wanted when I asked or I grew up privileged as that statement may have you imagine, but what I am saying is, life just flowed. If something made me feel uncomfortable I just didn’t deal with it. Plainly speaking, if it triggered a smidge of fear and caused me to get out of my comfort zone I wasn’t doing it! Nope. You could try to convince me to, but my mind was already made up. I’m staying in my bubble…
Well, here I am a 25 years old tip toeing on 26 and I am battling with staying in my comfort zone and venturing out into new territory. For all my reserved and cautious brethren, you know that this is a scary and very uneasy task to do. I’m not the adventuring type! I need a map, I need a plan, I need my blankey!!!! lol Just at the mere thought of walking out of my safe space causes my jaws to clench, like a shell of a clam closing at the approach of its attacker. I start to feel like a shy child hiding behind their mother’s leg–scared and needing someone to protect me. It’s so strange. I am a grown woman! Why am I feeling like this? Why can’t I face my life head on with excitement? Especially since I just released my whole life to the world to read in my first poetry book, More than Words: My Life. My Thoughts. My Journey., SHAMELESS PLUG BIH! WE OUTCHEAAAAAAAAA lol :).
After a lot of thought and prayer I realized, my fear and insecurities are coming to the forefront because the territory that I am entering is going to require me to be the strongest me possible. Those pieces of myself that I habitually stored in the back of my mind are the things I need to strengthen. Am I ready to open up the past again? Like can’t my fears and doubts stay where they are? “Either use this opportunity to get those insecurities out and let them go, or your going to dwell on them…” Thanks to the wise words of a very good friend of mine, I have decided to deal with all the emotions, doubts, fears, etc. that comes my way during my stregnthening process. All for one simple reason–to help someone.
Helping people has been a passion of mine. So if sharing my fears, regrets, prayers, laughs, and overral journey helps just one person then my job has been done.
Are you ready? Here we go…
– with a capital M
